AngelHaunt
http://www.angelhaunt.net/

I don't know a lot about the author of these poems - what I do know  - although he also goes by the handle "Angelhaunt," apparently his righteous name is Jason Ratcliffe.  I discovered his poetry while surfing the net at the poetry exchange and was immediatly dazzled.
(ala)

I do have a short bio on this fellow 
 

I'm a 28-year-old schizophrenic.  I haven't written poetry for years but I am constantly writing fiction -- trying to capture my psychotic experiences on paper.  I live on disability and take usually one class a semester at the University of Colorado at Denver.  That gives me a lot of time to write, and I'm very thankful that I can afford to spend so much time on my art.  Thanks for reading my poetry and enjoy. JR
 
 
 

"OCTOBER ANGELS"

                                                       Darker darker 
                                                             down 
                                                        Darker darker 
                                                             down 

                                                       Deepened rhymic 
                                                            pound 
                                                       Steady thunder 
                                                             sound 

                                                   Dye your spirit ever deeper 
                                                With the darker shades of song 
                                                Swim beneath the sunlit water 
                                               Where the stranger things belong 

                                               Fill your soul with life of fire 
                                                See the shades uptwisting long 
                                              Let your mind bear wilder flowers 
                                            Through this night of singing strong 

                                                         Find the ancient 
                                                         way of dreaming
                                                          Dancing inward 
                                                         graceful teeming 

                                                      Feel your sacred soul 
                                                             becoming 
                                                          Holy holy holy 
                                                             druming 

                                                          Darker darker 
                                                               down 
                                                          Darker darker 
                                                               down 
                                                         Cringe and creep
                                                              around 
                                                           Let the song 
                                                             astound 

                                                  Drink in minted drops of water 
                                                  Rinse your face of every tear 
                                                Cleanse your soul of hungry sorrow 
                                                  Keep your heart by heaven near 

                                                   Weave in glory with the grim 
                                                 And mix the beauty with the fear 
                                                 Find your deepest source of song 
                                                And make your soul to heaven dear 

                                                         Hear the wisping
                                                            of October 
                                                         Angels shifting 
                                                          solemn, sober 

                                                           See the deep 
                                                         endarkened hour 
                                                          Onward rising 
                                                         mirthless power 

                                                           Culminating 
                                                           fiery master 
                                                          Of the turning 
                                                         twisting faster 

                                                            Mazes laid 
                                                         about his brain 
                                                          Confusing and 
                                                          deluding pain 

                                                         Go darker darker 
                                                               down 
                                                          Darker darker 
                                                               down
 
 
 

"ON SOUND AND ECSTACY"   

                                                                 Call   
                                                              to the ghosts   
                                                                of old;   
                                                          see blood skies unfold   
                                                         with fire, smoke, and gold.   
                                                              Yes call! Cry!   
                                                                Behold   
                                                            the thunder-truth   
                                                                untold.   

                                                                 This,   
                                                          linguistic music anarchy  
                                                      so sets the soul on fire, and free.   
                                                         Musicians do their worst   
                                                    they summon thunder from their thirst,   
                                                              their passion;   
                                                           civilized and savage   
                                                    hear the drum and strings and ravage,   
                                                               stomping,   
                                                         throbbing, singing, crying,   
                                                       seeing demons and gods flying,   
                                                                music!   
                                                         Painful passion! Ecstasy!   
                                                         Feeling souls of body free,   
                                                       yes feeling souls of body free,   
                                                      yes souls of body, wasting body   
                                                            souls of body free!   
    
 
 

"COW BRAINS"

Jason Stuart Ratcliff 

He wants to worship cow brains. He wants to have something to worship, and he wants that thing to be cow brains. He wanders the old temple, wishing he could worship cow brains. He finds some cow brains there, and worships them. 

She prefers to worship cow hearts. She doesn’t like the roaches that infest the temple. The roaches are quite an annoyance. The roaches are more than an annoyance. She wants to worship cow hearts, and doesn’t like the roaches. 

He finds some cow brains, and, upon finding them, he worships them. There are some roaches eating the cow brains. He doesn’t brush off the roaches that are eating the cow brains, and ends up worshiping them at the same time that he worships the cow brains, since they are mixed in with them. 

She finds a cow heart at the temple, and worships it. She prefers to worship cow hearts. She sees that the temple is filled with roaches. She is disgusted at the roaches and simply wants to worship cow hearts. Before worshiping her cow heart, she shoos away the roaches that infest it. The temple is completely infested with roaches. She hopes that none of her worship will find its way to the roaches. She burns incense and worships a cow heart. For worship, she prefers cow hearts. 

He lights his own incense and worships his cow brains. He knows some people eat cow brains, though he himself has never eaten cow brains. He knows that they eat cow brains especially in places like Mexico. But he prefers to worship cow brains, not eat them. It doesn’t occur to him that his worship is reaching the roaches, instead of the cow brains. It is. 

She suspects the temple is infested with rats and mice as well as roaches. She sees rat or mouse droppings here and there. She doesn’t know whether it’s rats or mice that leave the droppings. She suspects it may be both rats and mice. She tries to brush the roaches off the base of the incense holder. She doesn’t like roaches. She considers whether she may go to a temple where there are no roaches. She thinks that she would prefer worshiping cow hearts in a temple without roaches. 

He hopes to see one of his comrades in the temple, one of the types that prefers to worship cow brains. He has seen those types before in the temple, has seen them worshiping cow brains. There are many floors in the temple. It is not the type of temple with a very tall ceiling; rather, it has many floors. There are little holes in the walls where the roaches enter and exit. The roaches often suck up the worship he intends to send to the cow brains. They are eating the cow brains, and infest them inside out. He neither intends for the worship to go to the roaches, nor does he suspect that it does. But it does. He wonders how many floors high the temple goes into the air. He suspects several, though he worships cow brains on the ground floor, and has never gone upstairs. He wonders how many floors the temple goes underground. He suspects several, though he worships cow brains on the ground floor, and has never gone downstairs. 

She wonders if there are more or less roaches in the basement. She thinks, More, probably. She does her worship of cow hearts on the second floor. She is deeply disturbed at the thought that her worship, which she intends for the cow hearts, is reaching the roaches. It is. She often sees men walking through the temple swinging censers. They walk, pause, bend, mumble, pray, step, genuflect, pause, moan, swing their censers, and continue on. They don’t seem much bothered by the roaches. The temple is filled with, besides roaches, worshipers of every stripe. Some are bearded, some are not. Some are female, some are not. Some have long hair, some do not. Some have shaved heads, some do not. Some are bothered by the roaches, some are not. Some worship cow hearts, some do not. Some worship cow brains, some do not. The worship of some of them reaches the roaches. 

He wants something to eat, and crawls his way across a cow brain. His little legs scamper over the thing, till he finds himself a good fatty part of it, then he starts to eat it. It is very moist and bloody: just the way he likes his cow brains. But suddenly, he finds himself being worshiped. 

He is worshiping a bit of cow brains that has roaches on it. He wonders if some men and women prefer pig brains. He knows that some men and women prefer cow hearts. By deduction, he decides some men and women may prefer pig hearts. He looks at the roaches on the cow brains he is worshiping. They seem startled. He thinks it’s because of his presence. His presence may make them nervous, he thinks. The presence of the type of people who kill roaches would be outright dangerous. He supposes they have no way of knowing if he is the type to kill roaches. They seem very nervous, though he doesn’t know it’s because they are startled at being worshiped. The worship comes off him in heavy white rays and fills them up, causes them to puff up and be mighty. This makes them seem nervous, and startled. He doesn’t know it’s because they are being worshiped by him. 

She supposes she may, after all, go to the temple across town. There, there are no roaches. But they only worship cow brains at that temple, and she prefers to worship cow hearts. She wishes she knew of a temple without roaches, and which also had worship of cow hearts. She prefers to worship cow hearts, over cow brains. But she detests worshiping roaches, which is what she is doing, since the roaches are sucking up all her worship. She suspects this is the case, and it deeply disturbs her. It is the case. The men come by again. She sees them come by in the hall. They bow, move, scuttle, groan, bend, wave, and move along. They swing their smoking censers as they move along. 

He wants to eat some cow hearts. He scurries across the floor on his way to a nice big cow heart. He makes it to the altar where there is a big cow heart sitting in plain view. He crawls upon the cow heart, the nice bloody cow heart. He finds a good bloody vein, and starts to eat. Suddenly he is aware that he is being worshiped. He breathes in the rays of worship, as he is being worshiped. He puffs up really big, for he is being worshiped. He has forgotten to eat the cow heart. Suddenly he sees his worshiper, and his worshiper sees him. She is horrified that she has been worshiping him. He deflates considerably. She waves her hand at him, and he runs away. 

She has become overwhelmed by the roaches. She wonders just what it is that is disgusting about roaches. She knows there is something disgusting about roaches that not one of God’s other creatures has. She wonders what exactly this great disgusting thing about roaches is. She wanders downstairs, and sees a man there worshiping cow brains with roaches all over them. 

"Don’t worship those things!" she calls to him, meaning the roaches. 

"But I wish to worship these things!" he declares, meaning the cow brains. 

"But you mustn’t worship such things!" she calls, meaning the roaches. 

"But I must worship these things!" he declares, meaning cow brains. 

She leaves him, oblivious to his meaning. He watches her leave him, oblivious to her meaning.

© copyright 2000
 

"LIFE IN BLACK AND WHITE"

Jason Stuart Ratcliff 

Frank and Peter are brothers, twin brothers. Sara and Michelle are sisters, twin sisters. 

When Frank and Peter awake in the morning, they carry their sisters Sara and Michelle down the stairs on their backs. They try to feed them, but these sisters are dead. When people see them feeding their sisters in the morning, they say, "Why are you doing that? They’re dead." 

"Yes," say Frank and Peter, "they are dead." 

When Frank and Peter are done feeding their sisters, they give them a morning bath. "Why are you doing that?" say the people. "They’re dead." 

After bathing Sara and Michelle, Frank and Peter dress them and set them in the living room to watch TV. Sara and Michelle watch TV all day through dead eyes, while Frank and Peter go to work, as one must work to live.

When Frank and Peter get home, they seat their dead sisters at the table for dinner. 

"How was your day today, Michelle?" asks Frank. 

"And how was your day today, Sara?" asks Peter. 

The sisters say nothing, for they are dead. 

After dinner Frank makes tea, and Peter does the dishes. The four of them sit, Frank and Peter and Sara and Michelle, with teacups in front of each. "Well, did you see anything interesting on TV today?" asks Frank. 

After tea, Frank and Peter load Michelle and Sara atop their backs, and mount the stairs, then lie these dead down in their beds. 

"Goodnight," says Frank. 

"Goodnight," says Peter. 

When night comes Sara and Michelle rise, and carry Frank and Peter downstairs atop their backs. "Why do you do that?" say the people. "Frank and Peter are dead." 

"Yes," say Sara and Michelle, "they are dead." 

Frank and Peter are brothers, twin brothers . . . 

 

"Out There"

Fraiser Crane's associate warns him 

about making friends with people who call in 

to his radio show. 

"Be careful," she says, 

"There are a lot of wackos out there." 

On TV and radio shows there are references 

every once in a while 

about people "out there", 

people not like the rest of us, 

and who everybody knows the rest of us 

should be careful never to speak with. 
 
 

I am that wacko who sits in a filthy dim apartment, 

watching Jay Leno and telling him my thoughts 

with psychotic telepathy. 

I am that 240-pound, 6-foot-2 tall man 

who has no friends, no job, 

nothing to do with his time; 

who takes rejection hard, 

and who is more afraid of a beautiful woman than a mugger. 

I am that demented and lonely person 

who would be glad to be met, in the media, 

with the condescending sympathy the disabled hate; 

for what I am met with is ridicule 

and hostility. 

What does it mean 

to say people shouldn't make friends with the very lonely? 

What does it mean 

to say the people who need people the most

should be avoided? 

There are over 2 million of us "out there", America. 

It's time you owned up 

to your part in the torture that is our lives.



The Members of the Circus
©1999, Jason Stuart Ratcliff

The members of the circus are very happy. The bearded lady is sexy, or would
be if she had no beard. She always wears a very small bikini. Besides her
beard, she has hair on the center of her chest. If not for the hair, she
would be very sexy.

We sit in the circus to watch. We watch the acrobats. They do very dangerous
things. It would be boring if they didn't do dangerous things. But it would
be horrible if someone were injured. We are all afraid when the tattooed man
throws the knives at the bearded lady. I think only one of us actually wants
a knife to strike the bearded lady.

The circus has strange spectacles. There is a boy with two heads that we can
look at, with whom we can talk. "He likes the bearded lady," says the left
head of the right head. "It's a lie," says the right head. This makes us
laugh.

We see in the circus the thing in the jar. Nobody knows what it is. It looks
like a thing of flesh and blood in liquid, very indefinite. "It's our dead
brother," says the left head on the boy with two heads. "It's a lie," says
the right head. I think only one of us wants to know more.

We go through the circus, looking at the lions in cages. One of us throws
picante sauce in the eyes of a lion. He says to me that now the lion is
angry, and that it will be a very good show because of this. I don't want to
be at the circus anymore.

The members of the circus are truly happy. The boy with two heads likes to
dance with the thing in the jar in his hands. I don't believe it's his dead
brother. He's too happy with the jar in his hands. But I do think that the
right head likes the bearded lady. She would be very sexy without her beard,
and that's a little disturbing. I think only one of us doesn't care about
the beard at all.

There's a magic show at the circus. A man dressed in black saws the bearded
lady in half. But he puts her together, and she's fine.

We look at Hitler's brain in a jar at the circus. "You really think that's
Hitler's brain?" I ask one of us. "Let me put it this way," he says. "After
I'm dead many years, there will be many brains of mine at all the circuses."
the end

The Secret Society
©1999, Jason Stuart Ratcliff

He wants to join a secret society. There is a particular secret society out
there and he wants to join it. He spends many hours of his day trying to
join the secret society. He spends more time in wanting to join the secret
society.

The members of the secret society spend much of their time in keeping people
out of the secret society. They wake up in the morning, spend some time in
keeping people out, eat lunch, spend some more time in keeping people out,
have their tea, and spend a few more hours in keeping people out. They spend
a good portion of their day in keeping people out of the secret society.

He goes at them to the left, trying to get in, but they keep him out; he
goes at them to the right, trying to get in, but they keep him out; he goes
at them in the center, trying to get in, but they keep him out; he pauses,
wipes his brow, clears his throat, straightens his clothes, ruffles his
hair, and tries to get in, but they keep him out. He spends a great portion
of his day trying to get into the secret society, but they keep him out. He
comes home after a long day of trying to get into the secret society, has
his dinner, goes to bed, and awakes in the morning with a long day ahead of
him of trying to get into the secret society.

The members of the secret society come together, pray, eat, talk, straighten
themselves, keep people out, drink, smoke, pray again, and discuss the best
way of keeping him out, for he wants to join the secret society.

He drops down on them from above, trying to get in, but they keep him out;
he rises up among them from below, trying to get in, but they keep him out.
He spends a great deal of his time trying to get in. They spend a good
portion of their day in keeping him out. They come together, eat, drink,
pray, and discuss the best method of keeping him out.

He forms a society of people who want to join the secret society. This
society spends long hours in plotting a way to join the secret society. They
have a great many plots and plans, ways they hope will help them join the
secret society. The members of the secret society come together, pray, sit
and smoke and plot against the society of men and women who plot ways to
join the secret society. They spend a good portion of their day plotting
ways of keeping people out. When they come home from a long day of plotting
ways of keeping people out, they have their dinner, go to bed, and awake
with a long day ahead of them of plotting ways of keeping people out of the
secret society.

There is a core to the secret society. There is a core and it¹s made up of
16 members. These members know all the secrets of the secret society, except
the penultimate and ultimate secrets. There is a core to this core made up
of 4 members. These members know all the secrets of the secret society
except the ultimate secret. There is a further core to this core of the
core, made up of 0 members, and these 0 members know all the secrets of the
secret society, including the ultimate secret. These 0 members spend long
days in knowing the ultimate secret, go home, have their dinner, go to bed
and awake with a long day ahead of them of knowing the ultimate secret of
the secret society.

He wants to join the secret society. He goes at them from the left, right,
and center, trying to get in, but they keep him out. He grows tired of
trying to get in, and goes home, and goes to sleep. He dreams he is in a
gunfight with the members of the secret society. They capture him and
blindfold him, so that he is staring at nothingness before him. They tie him
to a post and set a firing squad before him. The members of the firing squad
all fire, but nothing comes from their guns, and he is left standing there
staring at the nothingness before him.
The End.